Down in the dumps
The results from the second scholarship I applied for came out today. I didn't get it.Frankly, I feel really devastated. I was really hoping to win the scholarship money. When my brother applied for it two years ago, he got it; people also say that students are generally more successful in winning the FQRNT scholarship than NSERC, so I had really high hopes for it.
I'm not sure about exactly how they decide on the winners, but what I do know is that there are a bunch of committees, and each committee evaluates a certain number of applicants. My application was in a group of 25, and mine was ranked 22nd in the group. 22nd. Out of 25. I'm damn near the bottom. I feel like such a loser.
Well, I know I shouldn't get overly upset about it, 'cause I can still pay my tuition fees without a scholarship, but it's just the fact that I had such high hopes for it, and I totally got crushed, that bothers me. And it feels like academia is the only thing I'm strong in; I'm not socially popular, I'm not good-looking, I don't excel in any sports, I'm not an artist or a musician. My grades are all I have, pretty much, and I didn't get the #@!%ing scholarship.
My mom said that the FQRNT people had to give out fewer scholarships this year due to reduced funding supplied by the government (apparently, some dudes in the government or whatever wanted to abolish the scholarships completely because they felt it was a waste of money). So if this is indeed the case, that probably contributed to my rejection.
Anywho, I just need a few days to get my head back together. I will get over it, but it usually takes a bit of time.
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